A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?'
The clerk says, 'What denomination?'
The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'
* * *
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
HE NEVER HEARD THE SHOT....
Nice, huh? My bro is on his way to pick up his new toy, aptly named the D-Stressor. He's earned it. He's worked hard since he was eighteen, almost always having at least two jobs going, while on the side building his own homes and repairing his own automobiles. Like all of us, he's had to deal with life, the kind that makes you angry, sick, sometimes just plain crazy. But he's never quit. And now..lets just say there's a lot of sunshine in his life. Enjoy, bro.
The other bro was working in a factory several years ago that got outsourced. He went back to school. This December he'll receive his bachelor's degree in accounting. Way to go.