Saturday, August 1, 2009

Ambiguity




THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY

1 . ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

19. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

20. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

21. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

22. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

23. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD LISP TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

24. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED HEMORRHOIDS INSTEAD OF ASSTEROIDS?

25. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

26. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

I think my favs or 18 and 24. Which did you like the best?




Furgi, the new foster.

6 comments:

  1. I like them all but 6 & 9 particularly. I love how long is a piece of string questions

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  2. I chuckled over quite a few but loved #25, The watermelon photo made me laugh too. It's very clever.

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  3. Hi Amarinda, Shel, Yup those are good ones too.
    Hey Helen. Thanks for stopping by. And seven of course was also a good pick:)

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  4. #14--especially around here! And would like to know the answer to #24!

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