A Cat's Guide To Loving A Human

What Do You Think It Is?

A.  A weird over-sized mushroom?
B.  A paper-plate?
C.  A sleeping cat?
D. Dough rising in the sun?


I know you all got this one. Yup, C. A sleeping cat.

Tuesday's Titters

Smart Ass Answers

It was mealtime during a flight on an Airline.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.
The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, ' Low Bridge overhead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'


And just plain silly......
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?' The clerk says, 'What denomination?'
The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10
Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

HE NEVER HEARD THE SHOT....

Done and Done

I've finished my WIP! Now I've got two months to turn my hamburger into steak or closer to home my tofu into faux meatloaf.  Unfortunately, it feels like it needs about four. Oh well, when the going gets tough, the tough, etc etc. In this case do a lot of hand wringing.  I had a great idea for a novel, at least I thought it was. grin. But once I got into it, I realized I'd created all kinds of barriers for myself, the biggest being the hero and the heroine were apart. Thank goodness for telephone videos grin.
I was at a workshop where an agent suggested after a manuscript is written stick it in a drawer for a couple of weeks or more then bring it out and clean it up. Great advise but who has time to do that? What do you do? When you're done do you set it aside and let it simmer or do you plow on through?

On another note, did you see this? If it turns out to be a real cure won't that be wonderful? Cats, they're priceless.
http://mashable.com/2014/07/17/cat-parasite-may-treat-cancer/

It's Finally Friday

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Dad's Getting Down

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Interested in food and nutrition? Bud Julia Barrett has well-researched, need-to-know information on foods, their nutritional value and an occasional recipe. A born storyteller, if she's not blogging about foods, she usually has hilarious information to share about herself and her German Shepherd Jake.

Thursday's Perspective

A World Apart

 Fellow Lyrical author Cd Brennan has a new release: A WORLD APART. I don’t often read contemporary romances, but in this case I’m glad I did. It was a fun read that was well-written and held my interest. The characters jumped right off the page, kidnapped me and drew me into their world. Lizzy Jensen is a fun-loving, free spirit who has traveled to Scotland to find her roots.  Instead, she finds Hamish Skene, the strong, silent type. Silent being the operative word since he has a phobia about  social situations. Together these two muddle from one near disaster to another and finally discover that not only do opposites attract, but in this instance, are also made for each other.

If you are interested in wiling away a few hours in the Scottish countryside, I’d recommend it. Cd also has WATERSHED on sale for .99 through July 26^th. See below.

A WORLD APART

She left home to find herself...and found love along the way.

Lizzy travels to Scotland to track down her roots, hoping where she comes from will help her figure out where she needs to go. An Aussie girl through and through, tough as nuts and a bit wild, she believes there’s nothing so wonderful as a world seen through wine-tinted glasses...

...until she meets Hottie Hamish, Bridge of Allan’s most eligible bachelor.

Hamish is Lizzy’s polar opposite in every way. He’s serious, driven, and motivated, focused on becoming the youngest associate professor at the Glasgow School of Art. But he’s hiding a social phobia behind his gruff exterior that makes it almost impossible to connect with people...

...until he meets Lost Lizzy, all sunshine and lightness, an Australian beauty with the proverbial heart of gold.

Where they come from may be worlds apart, but atop a Scottish Munro, they begin to realize where they’re going is best traveled side by side.

 CONTENT WARNING: Graphic descriptions of haggis ingredients.

 A Lyrical Press New Adult Romance

Excerpt

Just as Lizzy had determined that she would be brave and take his hand, Hamish leaned into her. “This song they are playing is called Flower of Scotland.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Aye…it’s our song.”

Lizzy leaned in closer, her eyes buried deep into the Scotsman’s, mere inches away. “Ours?” It came out a whisper.

His eyebrow rose in question. “For all the Scots…for you, too. It’s one of our unofficial national anthems.”

“Oh…righto.”

Embarrassed, Lizzy looked away from him to the dance floor. She was surprised no one was dancing, only a few remained at the edge in small groups, laughing and talking animatedly. That’s where Hamish should be.

The lights in the room had finally been dimmed to get ready for dinner, and servers went from table to table lighting the candles.

“Will you dance with me?”

“The ceilidh doesn’t start until after the dinner.”

“Who says we have to dance when everyone else dances?”

Buy links

AMAZON   AMAZON UK   AMAZON AUSTRALIA  iTUNES   B&N   KOBO   BOOKWIRE

Author Bio

Having traveled and lived all over the world, Cd Brennan now talks with a strange accent, a mix of distant terminology, a blend of culturally cute but confusing euphemisms that leaves everyone looking at her with a blank stare. Luckily, her Australian husband (who she met in Ireland) and her two Aussie/Yankee sons have no problem understanding her – well, except for the word NO.

Now settled back “home” in Michigan, she enjoys reliving her glory days by writing about them. She considers the last fifteen years abroad the perfect research for her Love Where You Roam series; matchmaking women and men from different cultures, even different hemispheres, helping them find their true one across oceans of difference.

As destiny plays a hand in all the stories, Cd Brennan truly believes that what is for you, won’t pass you by. She hopes to inspire others to get out there: “Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” [Mark Twain]  And of course, fall in love.

Get in touch with her at www.cdbrennan.com

Tuesday's Titters

Dear Abby
DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: .......................

Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the
other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

It's Monday

Watch out for phone scams from your own phone:
https://www.yahoo.com/tech/scammers-are-using-caller-id-spoofing-technology-92147569954.html

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Question for the day:

If getting enough sleep helps slow the aging process why don't cats live longer than we do?

It's Friday

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Have you been to Gina's blog (Dawning on a New Day)? Gina often posts on reality/motivation. I'm sure she'd love to have you stop by.
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You Go, Mom!

 

Thursday's Perspective

Family Reunion

We usually see one of these little guys at some point during the summer. Apparently, this year they decided to hold the family reunion at the Cox Front Porch Motel. There were nearly a dozen of them.

Giant Leopard Moths are bright white moths with black spots mixed with iridescent blue. The females die shortly after laying their eggs on broad-leafed plants. The eggs develop into larvae. These particular larvae are fuzzy caterpillars. The kind kids like to play with. While caterpillars, they feast on dandelions and violets, and  hibernate in the winter.

Golden Ankh Awards

 

Gutsy, kickass Suzanne James has no intention of complicating her life by falling in love…especially with a vampire. But it’s hard to stay objective when a drop-dead gorgeous male rescues her from three assailants in a dark alley. All but unconscious, she could swear her hero has glowing red eyes and two sharp, pointed teeth.

I was pleased to learn that TALL, DARK AND UNDEAD is one of the nominees in the non-historical blush division of EC's Golden Ankh Awards.

Also nominated in the Spectrum M/M division is fellow blogger Shelley Munro.

If you have read TALL, DARK AND UNDEAD and wish to vote, or if there are other EC authors nominated you'd like to vote for, here's the link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RCon2014

Okay, that's my news. What's going on in your world? How was your weekend? 

It's Friday

 

Have a good one, Blogster Buds

Thursday's Perspectives

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."

-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

-- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

-- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury

-- Groucho Marx

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

Alex Levine

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.

-- Bob Hope

  We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

-- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you

-- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

-- Phyllis Diller

I've Got A Present For Ya

I don't know what it's like at your place of employment, but where I'm at, when someone gives you  work it's prefaced with, 'I've got a present for ya' or 'Here's a present'. Doesn't that seem just a little sadistic? I wonder if it's a southern thing like 'Bless His Heart', which if added to all the nasty things  said about someone absolves the speaker from speaking ill of  that person. As you can see, one of my co-worker's with a sense of humor took a whole new approach to the present thing. I found the 'work' folder slipped under the door to my office. There was a note mentioning the box of chocolates wouldn't fit. While, I'm afraid that the offer of a box of chocolates was bogus, the folder added a touch of whimsy and lightened the day.

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Like to rhyme? Check out Pat Hatt's Blog.

What the?

I got home Thursday afternoon, ready to start the holidays. Checked the mail and found a bill for nearly a thousand dollars from the hospital...for surgery the hh had a year ago. What the? Before I called the hospital I decided to call the insurance company to see just what was going on. I had the dubious honor of talking to a machine for somewhere between five and ten minutes. After getting all the applicable data, 'she' started on the numbers. You know the ones. If you want.....press one. If you want ..... press two. We got all the way up to seven before we got to claims. Finally, a real voice on the other end of the phone. After establishing who I was, I get to put the hh on giving the customer service rep permission to talk to me. (Let's have a brief moment of silence for anyone who has blood pressure issues and has to talk to an insurance company.) Now, I'm able to explain why I'm calling. She looks up his information and her response: "We've been a bit behind processing some of our claims. Although, I see this is a year old. I'll mark it urgent and move it forward." 
Really? So here we sit with a thousand dollar bill that the hospital wants paid immediately, that our insurance hasn't even processed yet. Ya got to love insurance companies don't ya? And yes I am being facetious. What about you? Do you have an insurance story? 
And now for a positive to offset my negative, I'm starting an online self-editing class today. I'll let you know how it goes.

Fourth of July, Release Day and Friday

Happy 4th of July

Enjoy the Fireworks

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 Odin Cats is released today.

The old cat shook his head, his whiskers twitching. “You are brave, kind and intelligent but you lack patience and humility.”

With a twitch of his plumy tail, Seth stalked off. “Sppt, patience is for the old and humility is for those not born to royalty.”

Green eyes glowing, the soothsayer said, “I wish I could learn these lessons for you, but I can’t it. It’s a journey you must make alone that will be painful in the extreme. But know this. You will survive. And your story will be told around the campfires of both soldier and peasant cats alike. The name of Sittchuk-Seth will ride the wind and be carried to the farthest corners of the kingdom.” As Furrlin spoke, his shadow filled the room, his jeweled eyes mesmerized and his voice beckoned. It echoed and reechoed about the room. Colors flashed from his sharp talons.

Seth could feel his pupils dilate and his breath come in short sharp pants as he watched his mentor. The nerves beneath his skin tightened. A quiver like a stroke over fur ran along his spine. Though, they’d been together for years, seldom did he see the old soothsayer’s magic.

Then the shadow and colors dissipated, the voice no longer boomed and the glowing green eyes dimmed to that of an old cat with the beginnings of cataracts.

He shook his head to clear it, looking around in wonderment. For one magical moment he’d felt cloaked in the old magician’s power. A gull called outside the window. He turned to watch it soar, its magnificent wings spread wide to catch the wind. His whiskers twitched, he’d returned to the world of the ordinary. 

“What did you see in your globe, Furrlin?”

“Your future, young master.”

Seth raised his head and looked into the old cat’s eyes that were as green as his own. “My immediate future?” He tensed, his stomach muscles in knots.

“Yes.”

Their eyes locked.

“And you won’t try to stop me?” He twitched his ears.

“Your destiny is written in the stars.”

 https://museituppublishing.com/bookstore/index.php/our-authors/52-our-authors/authors-c/443-sandra-cox

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s?store=allproducts&keyword=sandra+cox

 

Dominion

Anyone else out there watching this? I first became aware of this new series from Dez's Hollywood Spy blog. Thanks, Dez.
Dominion has an interesting premise. Angel's have fallen and are at war with man. It's a bit chilling to watch 'dark' angels instead of angels of light, and to see and hear the flap of huge,brownish-black wings.
If you haven't seen it, beware, the show does contain some nudity and violence.

The Monuments Men

We watched Monuments Men this weekend. Have you seen it? It's based on the true story of a handful of middle-aged curators, teachers, historians and architects who joined the Monuments, Fine Arts and Archive section of the Allies and recovered thousands of pieces of artworks stolen by the Nazis. Two notables saved were the Bruges Madonna and the Ghent alterpiece by Jan van Eyck.

The movie was well done and had an allstar cast: George Clooney, Bill Murray, Matt Damon, Cate Blanchette, Jean Dujardin, John Goodman, Hugh Bonneville, and Bob Balaban. If you saw it let me know what you thought of it.