Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up life we could just press the control alt delete and start over.
Don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.
When I was young we used to go skinny dipping, now we just chunky dunk.
How come we choose from only two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America.
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.