Thursday's Perspectives

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."

-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

-- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

-- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury

-- Groucho Marx

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

Alex Levine

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.

-- Bob Hope

  We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

-- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you

-- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

-- Phyllis Diller