Thank You Southern Style

Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying, 'thank you'. Though, it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.-- Author Unknown (but no doubt from the South:)

And that's when the fight started

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's when the fight started.

My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on theTV?"
I replied "Dust".

And that's when the fight started.

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible;I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And that's when the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation..
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started.

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"" No," she answered.I then said, "Is that your final answer?"She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying"Yes.."So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started.

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started.

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Â Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started.

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. Iunderstand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.."
“My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started.....

In Memory

For those we have loved and unexpectedly lost, may our loved ones be happy and at peace as they begin the next cycle of their life, carrying their love forward with them.

For those left behind, may your pain be softened by warm memories. And when you have healed may you move forward and live your life to the fullest, knowing someday you'll be reunited.

Dedicated to Chris and Karen

Obit

Thoughts for Friday

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up life we could just press the control alt delete and start over.

Don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

When I was young we used to go skinny dipping, now we just chunky dunk.

How come we choose from only two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Cats and Quotes

Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.- Anonymous

Serenity and Cats

It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. -- Mabel Newcomber

After scolding one's cat, one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it away for reference. - Charlotte Gray

Tuesday and Wednesday's Cat

"Every dog has its day, but the nights are reserved for cats." Anonymous