Pearls of Wisdom

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information
and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out
to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief,
look how smart I am!"

anonymous

Why Some Men Have Dogs Instead of Wives

Okay, this is sick and wrong....but funny.

Why Men have Dogs And Not Wives:

1 The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2 Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3 Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4 A dog's parents never visit.

5 Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6 You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.


7 Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..


8 Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.


9 A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"


10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. (Didn't like this one)


11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.


12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but certainly not least:


14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

Ultimate True Test: Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who's the happiest to see you.

Balancing Act

What's your secret? For those of you who hold down two jobs--i.e.--authors that have a day job, how do you write and keep your house clean? Since we've been getting our house ready to put on the market, I haven't written in a month. My schedule prior to HGOM: I worked my day job, came home, fed the critters, grabbed something to eat, then headed for the mole hole where I write. On Sundays, I'd make a brief swath through my house with mop and dust cloth as time permitted. But in depth cleaning...nah.

Now I'm ready to start writing again, but since we'll be showing the house that means cleaning has to stay a priority. sigh. Where's a maid when you need one?:)

So, folks how do you do it? How do you juggle those balls? If you have any good suggestions, please share.

Vampire Island Contest

Contest: For a chance to win a PDF of Vampire Island and a Vampire Island mouse pad just leave a comment at downtownya.blogspot.com. The contest runs through August 7. I’ll announce the winner Sunday, August 8.

Blurb

My name is Zoe Tempest. Just let me say, I had no intention of becoming a vampire hunter. My world revolved around the trendiest clothes, the boy of the week, shopping, and texting. My life was as close to perfect as a seventeen year old can get. I had everything. Then my parents were murdered and my world came crashing down.
After their funeral, I went to live with my uncle Julian Kilmer. That’s when everything changed. In a manner more terrifying than anything I could have imagined

Brief Excerpt:

Nerves chased up my spine and settled in my neck. I
reached over my shoulder and massaged my tense
muscles.
As the sun broke over the horizon and streamed in
the kitchen window, Uncle Julian strode from the room.
I drummed my fingers against the wooden butcher
block table, wondering if he was escaping me or the
sunlight. Startled at the direction my thoughts were taking
I straightened. Uncle Julian couldn’t possibly be a
vampire…Could he?

We have ALMOST finished getting the house ready to put on the market. Here's my brother who came over to help.

After Sherry Gloag won a copy of Flower Power she gave me a lovely surprise and reviewed it on her blog.
Thanks, Sherry!



Have a great Sunday.

Blogs Need Facelifts Too

Don't you love my blog's face lift? A huge thank you to good mate, Amarinda Jones for picking it out and setting it up. I love it.

I'm blogging at Roses of Prose today. If you have an opportunity swing by and give a shout.

You think English is Easy

1. The bandage was WOUND around the WOUND.
2. The farm was used to PRODUCE PRODUCE.
3. The dump was so full that it had to REFUSE more REFUSE.
4. We must POLISH the POLISH furniture.
5. He could LEAD if he'd get the LEAD out.
6. The soldier decided to DESERT his dessert in the DESERT.
7. Since there is not time like the PRESENT, he thought it was time to PRESENT the PRESENT.
8. A BASS was painted on the head of the BASS drum.
9. When shot at, the DOVE DOVE into the bushes.
10. I did not OBJECT to the OJBECT.
11. The insurance was INVALID for the INVALID.
12. There was a ROW among the oarsment about how to ROW.
13. They were too CLOSE to the door to CLOSE it.
14. The buck DOES funny things when the DOES are present.
15. A seamstress and a SEWER fell into a SEWER line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his SOW to SOW.
17. The WIND was to strong to WIND the sail.
18. Upon seeing the TEAR in the painting, I shed a TEAR.
19. I had to SUBJECT the SUBJECT to a series of tests.
20. How can I INTIMATE this to my most INTIMATE friend?

Got any to add to the list?

Thanks, Leslie.

I'll be at the Roses of Prose tomorrow. If you have an opportunity, please swing by and say 'hey.'