Your Weekend Read: IMMORTALS BEHAVING BADLY Free March 7 and 8

 

Immortals + Boredom = Catastrophe

Something old and dangerous is awake and influencing the immortals to act in ways they’d only imagined.

First, small things like Odin, Anubis and Mab going on separate vacations and leaving their seats of power open for the taking. Then, Yue Lao, Cupid, Bast, Apollo and a Kitsune messing with the lives and memories of mortals. It grows to pandemonium when Pan and Poseidon upend the world, creating the Warp – and a free-for-all where it comes to the immortals’ wildest fantasies. Especially the twisted fantasies of Baba Yaga and her Nightmares, Morrígan and her love of War, and Isis who has no qualms unleashing hell on Earth to get Osiris back, plunging mortals even deeper into danger.

Thankfully, some immortals are older and wiser than others, catching on that everything isn’t as it seems… But damage control, trying to avoid the Apocalypse of all realms, and discovering who the ancient evil is, takes more magic, wit, and sacrifice than they could’ve dreamt possible. Can the unlikely grouping of Hel, Aphrodite, Set, Thor, Loki, Apollo, Freyja, Ra and Ammit save the realms?

Scroll up to buy now and enjoy the hilarity, disaster and more that ensues when bored immortals let loose.

Universal Book Link

https://books2read.com/u/mYk6AG

 

Excerpt

Shadows stretched across her garden. From the darkest shadows, two forms appeared. Lion feet emerged, followed by the body of a lion merging into the hindquarters of a hippopotamus. The head of a crocodile somehow stayed concealed in the shadows. But Baba Yaga knew it was there. Ammit had come to visit. The black form next to her could only be Anubis.

‘Ammit the Devourer, as I live and breathe!’ She set down her book, stood up and walked towards them. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?’

Anubis stepped from the shadows. Wisps of darkness clinging to him. Ammit joined him, her yellow eyes glowing unnaturally in the sunlit garden.

‘You cannot do this, Baba Yaga,’ Ammit said in her hoarse voice. ‘Think of the death toll.’

Baba Yaga burst out laughing. She couldn’t help it. The earnest plea of someone who caused a second death for those who failed to prove their worth against the feather of Ma’at for her not to kill anyone was laughable.

‘Please, Baba Yaga.’

She stopped laughing. She’d never heard Anubis plead with anyone, ever.

‘What’s going on?’

‘After what those blethering idiots did, what the humans call the Warp, we’ve been swamped with the casualties. Charon would have come, but he and Hermes have even more to do than Ammit and I.’

‘Ah, yes, the theatrics.’

Anubis scowled. Ammit, though, giggled.

‘What does it have to do with me?’

‘You and your sisters are known to devour naughty children. Do you know how much paperwork that will cause us?’

Baba Yaga rolled her eyes. ‘Since when have you bothered with paperwork, Ammit?’

The goddess glared at her.

‘The truth, if you will. Otherwise, I’m off to join my sisters.’

Ammit and Anubis shared a look that she didn’t like.

‘The humans cannot take another bombardment of magic. Set and Thor are in agreement,’ Anubis finally said.

‘It must be dire if those two are agreeing on something.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘What did you do?’

‘Me? Nothing!’

Ammit snorted. ‘He took time off and everything nearly ended. That’s the short of it.’

‘So you finally lived down to human expectations.’

‘Nope. I just had some fun on a beach. But that’s not the point!’

‘No. You’re telling me that immortals have been using magic on humans to alleviate their boredom, played out some stupid apocalyptic fantasy, and now there are more human spirits in need of being ferried to the afterlife than any of you supposed death deities have capacity for. In short: everything can blow up in the faces of all immortals because of the stupidity of a few.’

‘Yes, the usual,’ Ammit said.

Baba Yaga sat down and a chair appeared from nowhere so she wouldn’t land on the ground. Her servants truly anticipated her every need. One handed her an iced coffee. As she sipped the delicious brew, the problems presented to her mulled over in her thoughts.

‘I made a bargain to do my job again – and I won’t go back on my word. Besides, Anubis,’ she stopped him when he opened his mouth. ‘A bit of cannibalism is good for the soul. To fix your problem, I have a simple solution: send the excess souls to join the Host until you can work through your backlog.’

‘This goes for all pantheons?’ Ammit asked.

‘Of course.’

A song about girls running the world started to play. At Anubis’s glare, the music stopped.

‘What was that?’ Baba Yaga asked, intrigued.

‘Beyoncé’s “Who Run the World”,’ Anubis said with a scowl to the invisible servants who had played the music.

‘I like it,’ Ammit said, swaying.

‘You would.’

 

Author bio

Award-winning Dark Fantasy author Ronel Janse van Vuuren writes about kick-ass heroines, the duality of being human and loves to use folklore to underscore her point.

She’s a Rottweiler pack leader, chicken wrangler and horse servant.

All of her books are available for purchase from major online retailers.

Find Ronel online: https://linktr.ee/miladyronel

 

 

There are a lot of main characters in this series, so I chose to focus on Hel as she’s the weirdest.

She drinks pickle juice to re-hydrate after using a lot of magic. (Yes, the juice left over in a bottle of gherkins…)

Her favorite dessert is vanilla cupcakes with pink strawberry frosting.

She enjoys giblets and other such dishes as she sees it as a delicacy (and believes that if you’re going to eat an animal, you should eat the whole beast).

 

Tagline for this series: 

They’ve been alive forever. They’ve been bored for some time. And now they’re showing it.

 Link to trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AICr5qc6QOU&t=1s&authuser=0